helps you to look at problems you are facing now. You might focus on a specific
problem, process, decision or crisis for example. I'll help you talk about the
difficult feelings you have about yourself and your situation, and identify
things that help, and facilitate change. I ask questions that other people
don't and I'll help you interpret the answers effectively.
many counsellors like to work in their own way, actually different approaches
suit different people and/or issues in different ways. That is why it is
important to choose a therapist who can work in a way tailored to your precise
needs. Because of this an initial ‘assessment’ session is really
shouldn’t be difficult to work out what sort of therapy you are being
offered. Ask what experience potential counsellors have with your type of
issue. Look for Accreditation and long years of training!
important to your therapy is the strength of the relationship you have with the
counsellor. You should feel safe, mutual trust, equal, empowered and not
judged, patronised or feel like you are being told what to do...
a couple of different ways counsellors work (just because I've only listed a
few, it doesn't mean these are the main or best or most widely used etc. Though
chances are these are the models you are most likely to encounter
in the first instance There are many more - look at NICE or BPS website):
may have heard about Cognitive or Behavioural Therapy. CBT therapists aim
to help people change patterns of thinking or behaviour that are causing problems.
Changing how you think and behave also changes how you feel. It is a
structured approach – you agree goals for treatment with your therapist and try
things out between sessions. There are no surprises, and you are never
asked to do or sign up to anything that you do not think is a really great idea
for furthering your treatment – and often, through your discussions with the
therapist, you’ll come up with your own ideas about what you need to try
EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing)
you are experiencing trauma, for example like an attack, domestic violence,
accident - in it or witnessed it, war zone stuff, traumatic near miss, fire,
flood, crash etc., EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)
can help. Google it!
Centred Counsellors feel that if they provide their clients with lots of time
and space, unconditional positive regard, congruence and empathy, clients will
find their own way to personal growth and understanding.
perhaps most therapists rely on these basic values in their work, of offering a
safe and contained space, dedicated time, real honesty, a total non judgemental
acceptance of the client's issues and viewpoints as valid and important, and an
effort to understand what it must be like to be that client in the hope of
reflecting back useful interventions...
your (often early) experiences and identifies connections between present
feelings and actions and past events. We might make more sense of the
‘cause and effect-ness’ of your past on your present. We integrate these models
Oh gosh, not sure we
can do this in a sentence without sounding depressing! And actually,
Existential Psychotherapy might be the single most helpful therapy ever! This
is how I see it. Put your crash helmet on…
The thing is... we are all going to die, and no-one can change the ultimate
aloneness of life and death. (Though surrounding ourselves with loved ones and
stuff might help a bit?) And whilst we are around, there are not really
any rules except perhaps ones we impose on ourselves either through society or
culturally or habit. (Though we find it a bit easier to pretend that there
are). So, the fact that we are free (to do whatever), whilst it sounds
good, is actually rather daunting and is perhaps a bit more like groundlessness
than freedom. (Though we concoct structure to feel a bit safer). And
perhaps the worst bit (but the bit most easily remedied?) is the fact that life
can be rather meaningless (though we do things to somehow change that).
of course we are completely free to make our own meaning! After all... why not?
Psychotherapy grapples with these concepts (that whether we like it
or not apply to all of us - and who knows how much they affect our daily
choices) and provides a truly helpful framework for us to think about our more
everyday issues (that often turn out to be rather more deep).
good news! Once we understand a bit more about what might be in store for
us, we are perhaps able to take a bit more personal responsibility for our
choices, and hence our happiness...
about it, my experience with clients is not so much that they are afraid of
dying, but more of getting to that time and not having lived.
unless you can be absolutely sure of 'dying at the right time', whatever it is,
do not put it off!
a bit more...
do not work Analytically (where the therapist doesn’t talk much).
do not work much with addiction, sorry, though I am happy to recommend a
determined and professional clinician with many years of experience in treating
substance misuse. Likewise I do not work with under 16 year olds, but can refer
younger children to a professional colleague who has a Doctorate, is HCPC
registered, counselling qualified and has Safeguarding and family work expertise from Social
Work roles, and is able to see children, parents, and also willing to advocate
and write Court reports.