ARGGGHHH!! THEY ALL LOOK GOOD! HOW DO I choose WHAT TO DO, THO? THEY ALL SOUND LIKE THEY'RE OK - SO HERE'S THE THING.....

I would like to say that 'word of mouth' can be a really good way and this is particularly true if you are seeking a coach to work with.  Then it is a good idea to have an initial meeting to make sure you get along and feel understood. 

But if you are choosing a therapist or counsellor then honestly I am not convinced that it is! The trouble is, it may be that the person recommending the counsellor hasn't had that much experience of being counselled themselves, and may have 'got on ok' with their therapist but... most therapists are easy to get along with, and it is perhaps more important that they know a bit about what they are doing in the counselling room - in relation to what you are there for!

That said, all the evidence points to a good strong relationship with the professional being the most important factor linked to positive outcome. So it's a MUST that you do get along from the off.

I hope that reading the below will help you understand a bit more about how helping models can sometimes be 'horses for courses'. Some models are simply not recommended for some troubles, whilst others absolutely are. So if you really like your chosen helper but they are not used to working in an identified appropriate and helpful model for your particular issue, then you may be spending a lot of money when you might not have needed to.

The NHS NICE (National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence) have produced guidelines that offer helpful information about what types of approach are appropriate for certain types of worries. See www.nice.org.uk

An example would be that a client led, gentle talking therapy would perhaps not be the first choice necessarily for someone coming with a phobia.

For instance, I could sit in the opposite chair to someone with a dental phobia for ten years of therapy understanding how difficult things are for them and convincing them how dentistry has come on and how skilled dentists are now, and how that injection is really not painful in the scheme of things, and how dentists are really kind old gentlemen.... but after ten years they would still have to get up and walk into the surgery and sit in that dentist's chair!

Perhaps a different approach that helped them to challenge some of the reasons they were frightened in the first place and moved them into the chair in a supported but much quicker way would be helpful so the agony was not prolonged and they got the choice to be brave in the doing of it! They'd discover quicker all that stuff about dentists!

Likewise, it might be no help offering someone with a deep rooted and long standing psychological problem a short term set of coaching goals that don't address the deeper issues concerned.

Am I explaining this ok?

TOP TIP! in summary...

So what do you do? You'd be well advised to find a professional - who you like, trust and get along with - with a University Diploma, BSc or BA Degree or Post Graduate Diploma actually in CBT, coaching, counselling, mediation,or psychotherapy (not geography); be a paid up member of at least one of the main credible professional organisations and maybe even have years of experience.

So ask if they've completed an accredited University course that included their own personal therapy as this can make a vital difference to your journey toward your desired goals. After all, you wouldn't go to a Dentist who had never had a filling...

There are many different models of Professional Help. Coaches tend to work with different specialisms - for example, life coaching, business, health, diet, personal training.  Some counsellors train in one core model and believe that this will work for everyone.

Others have experience and training in many and can tailor their therapeutic interventions to suit not only the person, but as we started to consider above, the problem itself.

Be advised, the NHS National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) recommend certain evidence based therapies for certain problems or disorders and do not recommend others. You may be well advised to check out what you're worried about and see what approach they advise. Don't forget that website: www.nice.org.uk


Meanwhile... Back to how you choose a what approach will suit you best!  I think all I might have done is confuse you further!

POSSIBLE QUESTIONS TO ASK WHEN YOU ARE SEEKING HELP!  IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING COACHING:

What kind of Coaching do you specialise in?

How much experience do you have in working with people? Can you give me contact details of any previous client who you have worked with?

What approaches do you adhere to when coaching?

What happens in the sessions and what if I am not sure which direction I wish to go?

What professional organisations are you registered with?

How long are sessions and how often are they held?

IF YOU ARE INTERROGATING A POTENTIAL THERAPIST... (Warning - if they are not sure about their answers, try someone else!)

• What kind of therapy do you offer and what is it trying to achieve?

• Have you had your own personal therapy as part of your training?

• How long are sessions and how often are they held?

• How long might therapy last for and how does it end - is there a set number with regular reviews?

• How long before I should expect to feel some benefit from therapy?

• Can I contact you between sessions if I need to?

• What training have you had, and how many years have you been practicing?

• What professional organisations are you registered with?

• Have you had experience of working with people with similar problems to mine?

• Is therapy confidential and when might confidentiality be broken?

• Might you refer me to, or contact other health professionals involved in my care - and is this something you are experienced in? Can you discuss my medication needs for example?

• How much do I pay per session, and is there a missed session fee?

• Do you work from home or from a professional office or rooms?

• Do you keep notes about me and are they kept confidentially? What will happen to them if you drop dead!? How will I know?

• What if we don't get on?

That said, I will remind you again, research shows that generally, the most important influencing factor linked to 'successful outcomes' is the strength of the relationship you have with him or her. So choose someone you like and trust!

If at any time you experience any difficulty with any professional, if it cannot be resolved once you have discussed it with them, I would encourage you to contact their registering body for information and support.

If at any time you feel pressured into doing something you don't want to, the chances are it is not right. Your guy should be very much 'on your team' and as such NEVER tell you off or be judgemental about what you tell them! If they do, contact their professional body for advice.